Both of these books were originally published by HarperSanFrancisco in the early 1990's. They are now available from iUniverse.com publishers. iUniverse is a publish-on-demand company and provides copies as they are ordered. My books may be ordered directly from iUniverse or from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. For a look inside both books, please look at the iUniverse.com website under "Bookstore."
These books may also be ordered from any "bricks and mortar" bookstore in your area.
I want to welcome all of you who are on a healing path. Perhaps you have just begun and are struggling to make sense of life. Or perhaps you have been on this path for some time and are looking for ways to make your life even fuller.
I hope that this page will be visited by many but particularly by survivors and those who love them.
My path in recovery began many years ago but my memories of the sexual abuse did not surface until 1987. From that point on, my life was different. In many ways, it was a relief to find the "missing piece" to the puzzle of why I felt as I did. It was also tremendously difficult work to stay on this path. I had lots of support from friends, therapists and support groups.
Only one of my siblings was able to be supportive. The rest of the family members were not and are still not able to take in this reality. At first it was important for me to take a hiatus from all family members except the one sister. I needed to do this in order to fully grasp and heal from my reality about the sexual abuse. I could not maintain two realities at the same time. I had tried to do this at first and it almost took me down again.
I was able to reconcile somewhat with my mother just months before her unexpected death. This was a gift and something that I had worked up to in therapy for at least a year and a half.
Today I have a courteous relationship with my other family members. We do have contact now and then but we do this with care. I have let go of the need to have my family believe my reality. It is enough that I know it to be true. This healing allows me to have casual contact with family and even rekindle some warm moments from time to time. Another gift.
I never planned on any reconciliation. It just evolved over time, much to my great surprise. It had everything to do with my commitment to my own recovery and my willingness to be open.
My books were created out of a need that I had at the beginning of my recovery process. I wanted an affirmation book for survivors and one of my friends said, "Why don't you write one?" I had never really written anything before, but the first book just seemed to take on a life of its own once I wrote down that first affirmation. The process of writing was painful, miraculous and healing. I was grateful to have the opportunity to write the second, companion book as well.
I have hopes that another book is evolving as I continue on my path. I am sure that I will know when it is time and I am ready.
I have received many kind notes from readers over the years and am so grateful to have both of my affirmation books back in print. I just read a wonderful review that some reader posted on Amazon.com and it touched my heart. My hope is that I will always be able to share with and give to other survivors. I hope that this web site will help in some way.
I would welcome your feedback about my books or anything else that you would like to share. I wish everyone a gentle healing journey.